Monday's List: Things I Hate About Weddings

I'm trying this new themed-post thing, and first are *drumroll please*

Monday's List! 


I am obsessed with lists.  I have lists on my phone, lists on my iPad, lists on scrap pieces of paper found at the bottom of my purse- you get the idea.  There are to-do lists, grocery lists, lists of nail polish colors I want, etc.  My goal is to share some lists weekly, on Mondays as the title would suggest.

While preparing for my own walk down the aisle, I've noticed that there are a lot of things I don't like about weddings.  Some are generally agreed upon as silly (unity sand?), and some are just things that I personally just don't care for (Veils.  I don't like them, and my mom can't understand why.  I just don't.)

***Disclaimer***

This post is NOT directed toward any one person, or anyone at all really.  I am aware that most people have had either one or more of the things on the list at their own weddings.  YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON.  I just have lots of pet peeves, and many are related to weddings.  Just remember, it's healthy to laugh.  And I really hope you continue to read my blog, even though I am snarky. 

On to the list!

General tacky wedding photo via Google by searching "tacky wedding photo"

Things Brittany Does Not Like About Weddings

Unity candles
Unity sand
Shiny bridesmaid dresses
Bridesmaid dresses in general
The wedding march on an organ
Most other wedding music
Sports-themed grooms cakes
Tiaras!
JORDAN ALMONDS
People who sing long songs during  the ceremony
People who open gifts during the reception
Jokes like "Oh my gosh the best man forgot the ring..."
Outlandish up-dos (I hate these in real life too.)
Slideshows of 100 pictures of the couple as babies
Guestbooks
Dealing with David's Bridal for anything. However, I did get my wedding dress there because I am cheap. I mean thrifty.
Pre-wedding velour track suits that say BRIDE in rhinestones on the tush. This may be the most specific list item, but David's Bridal is on this list because they actually tried to sell me one of those.
White "party" bridal dresses for the reception
Cowboy boots on bridesmaids who would never wear cowboy boots in real life
Ringing a bell so couples will kiss. Awkward without a date.
Rap music at receptions
Brides who are stressed out and mean
Birdseed
Doves
Dances where you have to make a train and hold on to people's hips. I am always the one person who never wants to participate in those.
UNITY SAND.

I used to think dogs as ring bearers was stupid, but now I have two puppy sons so it is perfectly acceptable. However, it is weird to dress animals up like a bride and groom. A simple bow will suffice.

I also used to think wedding cupcakes were stupid until my mom and sister started making gourmet homemade cupcakes a few years ago, so now it is also perfectly acceptable.

Also anyone who has a cute little flower girl who doesn't quite know what she's doing or toddles down the aisle gets 50 bajillion points because that may be my most favorite part of weddings besides two people uniting as one and all.

THE END.


We can all laugh at ourselves, right?  It's healthy.  PLEASE NO ONE HATE ME.


:)